Anal sex: doing it right

In a blog post, sex advice columnist Dan Savage reads a column by professional scold Michael Medved and sums up his attitude as Lesbians Make My Dick Hard...but gay guys? Not so much.

Medved:

The most common sexual practice between two men involves an act of aggression—inflicting more pain than pleasure for at least one of the parties.

Savage:

Um, gee. I don't mean to toss sand into Michael's lube, but... straight people have anal sex too. Lots of anal sex. And they like it.

And anyone who's "inflicting more pain than pleasure" during sex—anally, orally, vaginally—is doing it wrong.

Vickie sums up:

1. Lots of different people -- male-female couples and female-female couples, as well as male-male couples -- have anal sex. You just need a partner, and at least one of you needs to have an anus. (You don't even need a partner.)
2. Believe it or not, some gay men don't have anal sex at all. Would that make them less disgusting to those like Medved who want to judge people by what they do in bed?
3. And let's not forget Dan's last point: if you're inflicting more pain than pleasure, you're doing it wrong.

I recommend reading the whole post.

Tonight is New Year's Eve. I hope you stay safe and that you're able to give someone some pleasure. See you again in 2011.

CFNM Strap-on Videos

As I've written before, I'm not into dominance with my pegging, but there's a mild form of dominance that some of you might find interesting. It's called clothed-female-nude-male (CFNM). I guess the idea is that the man has to degrade himself by getting naked, but the woman doesn't. I wouldn't have thought that it would go with pegging, but here's some videos that combine the two. They all feature a brunette woman wearing a jockey outfit and a strap-on dildo and a man wearing not so much.

• Brunette makes guy clean her boots, put his hands under her feet, and suck her "dick"
• Same couple pegging from a sitting position
• The brunette pegs the guy from a standing position
  
• Continuation, in which the brunette rides his ass and even holds his mouth like a horse's
  

Brunette loves being on top

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Little taiko boy

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[Video] Gorgeous, Gay and Very Sexy – Little Taiko Boy | violet blue ® :: open source sex Posted: 20 Dec 2010 09:50 PM PST Japanese video of the drag goddess who leaves all the gay men bejewelled condoms. There's no actual sex in this, just a cute fantasy for gay/bi boys and the women who love them.

The End of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

The Senate has voted to end "Don't ask, don't tell." President Barack Obama will certainly sign the bill, which already passed the House. (Translation for my non-U.S. readers: this means that gays and lesbians will soon be able to serve openly in our military, something that many other countries have been doing for years.)

Yahoo leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Yahoo is "sunsetting" its Delicious service, according to a leaked internal presentation. So not cool. Lots of people, including me, used it to save and share links. I even had it set up to post my links here (after approval). It was very convenient for me. I also loved the way you could add as many tags as you wanted (unlike Blogger) and bundle them in different ways. If you have any great ideas about a replacement service, let me know.

Update: Delicious says:

Is Delicious being shut down? And should I be worried about my data?

- No, we are not shutting down Delicious. While we have determined that there is not a strategic fit at Yahoo!, we believe there is a ideal home for Delicious outside of the company where it can be resourced to the level where it can be competitive.

Bigger and Better

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Strap-On Addicts 4

I've been watching Strap-On Addicts 4 recently. My favorite scene is an MFF threesome featuring India Summer, Allison Pierce, and Kurt Lockwood. I've seen MMF threesomes in which a strap-on comes into play, but this was new for me. They even get into a "man sandwich," with India pegging Kurt, who in turn is screwing Allison. Very nice!

Find it wherever fine porn is sold, rented, and streamed.

Welcome, Sex Secrets blog readers!

Svetlana, of the Sex Secrets blog, posted Can a Woman Pegging a Man Not Be Dominant? in which she links to my post on non-dominant pegging. I'm really flattered. She has a great blog with provocative stuff every day. I'm in great company!

Video review: Throbbing Three Ways

I'm enjoying the video Throbbing Three Ways. Most scenes in it have two men and one woman and all of those are MFM. That's good news and bad news (IMO):

• Good news: Lots of attention is paid to the woman.

• Bad news: No man-on-man action

With that in mind, my favorite scene is called "The birthday box." It features Olivia O'Lovely, who is indeed lovely (and zaftig) as the birthday girl whose husband presents her with a big gift-wrapped box. If you guessed that it contains a naked man, you were right.

Olivia and Hubby soon strip down. She sucks Hubby's cock and Giftboy licks her pussy. They move to the bed, where Olivia sucks Giftboy, and Hubby strokes her with both hands. Various other positions for cock sucking and pussy rubbing.

Olivia goes down on Giftboy, and Hubby screws her from behind. Hubby goes down on Olivia, who sucks Giftboy. Hubby screws Olivia; Giftboy dips his cock and balls into her mouth.

Olivia climbs on top of Giftboy and rides him, as Hubby watches. Hubby gets on the bed to get his cock sucked. Olivia turns around and rides Giftboy reverse cowgirl. She strokes herself as she does so. The guys soon come, too.

Find it wherever fine porn is sold, rented, and streamed.

Psychedelic, man!

A groovy, yet anatomically correct drawing of prostate stimulation.

Why masturbation helps procreation

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Why Masturbation Helps Procreation - Newsweek Posted: 12 Oct 2010 07:34 PM PDT There are good evolutionary reasons for male masturbation. Females do it just because it feels good!

Top amateur pegging videos

Peg Me Harder: Top Ten Amateur Girl-on-Guy Strap-on Sex Videos

Tip of the dildo to Svetlana at Sex Secrets

Which came first: the anal sex or the orgasms?

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Why do women who have anal sex get more orgasms? - By William Saletan - Slate Magazine Posted: 11 Oct 2010 11:59 PM PDT

New Ryder loves women

News flash: New Ryder loves women -- big, strong women like Lisa Lyon, and if they'll peg his ass, so much the better!

Work on your techniques, people!

You may have heard about a big new study on Americans' sex lives called the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior.

Some of the news reports sniggered over the discrepancy between the percentage men who think their last partner had an orgasam (85%) and the percentage of women who actually did (64%).

What I found much more interesting, however, was this nugget: the survey listed five "techniques" one might use:

• penile-vaginal intercourse


• solo masturbation


• partnered masturbation


• oral sex


• anal sex

Not surprisingly:

Women reported they were much more likely to have an orgasm if their partners used more than one technique; 54 percent of women reported having an orgasm the last time they had sex when they engaged only in one act, but 89 percent of women who performed five sex acts during their last encounter had an orgasm.

Men get off from almost anything, of course (ha!). You can still use multiple techniques on your guy. As readers of this blog know, even anal sex can be practiced by a woman on a man.

Don't judge a video by its title

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Things to do this month

New Ryder has things to do in Cocktober. I highly support them all, but especially the fourth one.

Attention, LGBT teens: It gets better!

It's usually fun and games here at Vickie P.'s blog, but I need to get serious about something today.

If you read this blog regularly, you're probably interested in men engaging in gay and bisexual acts. (Let me just say right now that any videos of said acts that I have linked to or written about depict consenting adults who freely agreed to having their activities filmed and made public, to the best of my knowledge.) I hope that you sometimes think about the lives of these men and that you want them to be healthy and happy, not just bodies who sport in the bedroom for our enjoyment.

As you probably know, there have been several incidents recently in which gay teens (and teens whose peers assumed they were gay) have been harassed to the point of suicide. Sex advice columnist Dan Savage has an idea: let these kids know it gets better.

As he wrote last week:

I had the same reaction: I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better.

But gay adults aren't allowed to talk to these kids. Schools and churches don't bring us in to talk to teenagers who are being bullied. Many of these kids have homophobic parents who believe that they can prevent their gay children from growing up to be gay—or from ever coming out—by depriving them of information, resources, and positive role models.

Why are we waiting for permission to talk to these kids? We have the ability to talk directly to them right now. We don't have to wait for permission to let them know that it gets better. We can reach these kids.

So here's what you can do, GBVWS: Make a video. Tell them it gets better.

I've launched a channel on YouTube — www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject — to host these videos. My normally camera-shy husband and I already posted one. We both went to Christian schools and we were both bullied—he had it a lot worse than I did—and we are living proof that it gets better. We don't dwell too much on the past. Instead, we talk mostly about all the meaningful things in our lives now—our families, our friends (gay and straight), the places we've gone and things we've experienced—that we would've missed out on if we'd killed ourselves then.

"You gotta give 'em hope," Harvey Milk said.

Today we have the power to give these kids hope. We have the tools to reach out to them and tell our stories and let them know that it does get better. Online support groups are great, GLSEN does amazing work, the Trevor Project is invaluable. But many LGBT youth can't picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can't imagine a future for themselves. So let's show them what our lives are like, let's show them what the future may hold in store for them.

The video my husband and I made is up now—all by itself. I'd like to add submissions from other gay and lesbian adults—singles and couples, with kids or without, established in careers or just starting out, urban and rural, of all races and religious backgrounds. (Go to www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject to find instructions for submitting your video.) If you're gay or lesbian or bi or trans and you've ever read about a kid like Billy Lucas and thought, "Fuck, I wish I could've told him that it gets better," this is your chance. We can't help Billy, but there are lots of other Billys out there—other despairing LGBT kids who are being bullied and harassed, kids who don't think they have a future—and we can help them.

They need to know that it gets better. Submit a video. Give them hope.

Dan wrote more this week:

And here's a thought for people who are thinking about making videos for the It Gets Better Project: Many of the early submitted videos focused on something many gay adults have in common with gay kids—our experiences with being bullied. The pain we endured as kids should be touched on. But it would be great to see more videos that give gay young people a picture of the lives they could make for themselves if they just hang in there. LGBT kids who don't know any LGBT adults need to see—with their own eyes—that gay adults lead happy and rewarding lives. So if you decide to make a video—and I hope that you do—don't just share your pain. Share your joy. Give 'em hope. Save a life. www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject

If you're a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) teen, watch some of these videos.

If you're an LGBT adult who is now comfortable with your identity -- in short, if it got better for you -- consider making a video yourself.

If you're a straight adult with an LGBT teen who looks up to you and trusts you -- in your family, your school, your religious or scouting organization -- talk to them about any bullying they've experienced and do what you can to stop it, then point them to these videos.

Thanks for reading.

Shtupping menshes

Apparently not all of us kept our minds out of the gutter during the High Holy Days. The folks over at Nerve.com were busy listing menshes they'd like to shtup:

• Seven Mensches I’d Like to Schtup


• Seven Lady Mensches I'd Like to Schtup

"No one wants to play with dirty equipment"

Video link updated April 2015.

Vibrator video; You're not a "homo" if you like pegging

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It's that time again

Tomorrow night starts the High Holy Days, the first of which is Rosh Hashanah. I love communicating with my readers about our common interests, but my mind will be on other things for the next 10 days. You may think of me praying, atoning, and fasting.

I'll be back sometime after Sept. 18.

Very truly yours,
Vickie P.

XNXX.com has pegging videos

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pegging videos - XNXX.COM Posted: 05 Sep 2010 06:15 PM PDT

Thanks, Whisper!

Joanna Lark's advice on strapping on

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Strip Off And Strap-On- Joanna Lark Posted: 03 Sep 2010 03:03 AM PDT Nice page of advice for women.

A bad little bitch

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Bisexual porn videos

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Bisexual Porn Videos: New Posted: 30 Aug 2010 06:06 PM PDT XHamster category

Masturbatrix defined

Hey hi, all,

The good folks at Urban Dictionary have accepted my definition for masturbatrix. This is it:

A woman who masturbates a man, often with the purpose of teasing him by denying him an orgasm.

The masturbatrix stroked his cock for an hour but wouldn't let him come.

Much better than the other definition they have, if I do say so myself.

Strap-on video and size advice

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Strapon surprise in the Gym Posted: 23 Aug 2010 04:28 AM PDT Video.

What size dildo for my strap-on? - Girls pegging boys - tribe.net Posted: 23 Aug 2010 04:04 AM PDT Very practical advice

Topless equality

Men and women in various cities rallied for topless equality on Sunday. That meant the women went topless and the men covered up.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

SAN FRANCISCO -- The sight of men wearing bras or bikini tops hardly causes a ripple in San Francisco anymore, but on Sunday, a group of guys did so for a different purpose - to demand that women be allowed to legally bare their breasts in public.

Not because men want to see them, the protesters said. For justice.

"If we're supposed to be equal across the board, then women should be allowed to show their breasts," said Michael Staley, 43, who was topless except for a bustier and a straw hat. "Why can't they? Men can, women should, period."

You can touch yourself ...

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Qucikies: Savage Love by Dan Savage Posted: 22 Aug 2010 10:46 AM PDT "Here's something you may not know about vaginal penetration ... because it's not something that's typically covered in small-town high-school sex-ed classes: You can touch yourself during vaginal intercourse. Whatever you're doing that's getting you off when you're alone, ICC, do that thing—touch yourself that way."

Our porn, ourselves

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What Happened With Our Porn, Ourselves and Facebook | Our Porn, Ourselves Posted: 19 Aug 2010 12:10 AM PDT

Cutting off your vagina to spite your Face(book) | Psychology Today Posted: 19 Aug 2010 12:08 AM PDT Facebook censors pages celebrating women's sexuality.

The Shower

Over at Taking it and Loving it, Whisper is back. He returns to his blog with a post called The Shower. It's a very hot account of an incident with his callipygian wife. I don't want to give too much away. Just go read it, then you can read my comment at the end to see what I liked about it.

(The image at right is not Whisper and his wife, but it gives a hint about the story, especially if you didn't know the word "callipygian"!)

Another Fiona story

Another Fiona story from NewRyder. This one has Fiona, her man, a beach, and a jade dildo. Very nice!

(Not so) Confidential to an Anonymous reader: What strap-on gear do you use for her pleasure?

Recently, an anonymous reader posted the following comment:

A couple of years ago, I had the pleas[ur]e of buying a strap-on for my girlfriend to use on me.

We chose one that gave her inserts for vag + anal. After about 20 minutes of getting pounded hard, I had had the pleasure of looking up at her and watching her orgasm while fucking me. HOT! I'm in the market for a new one for my current gf, and found your blog in my research.

Because I, too, am in the market for strap-on gear that will give me a turn-on also, I said, "I'd be *very interested* to know what kind of strap-on gave your girlfriend an orgasm!" Since he hasn't answered me yet -- I'm assuming he hasn't seen my response to his comment -- I decided to highlight the question here.

If you are the anonymous reader who posted the comment above, please let me know what you used with your girlfriend?

If you are someone else who has experience with strap-on gear that gave extra pleasure to the woman wearing it, I'd like to hear from you, too. Please post a comment below.

India Summer bi videos

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India Summer bi Videos Posted: 05 Aug 2010 09:32 PM PDT

Vibrators for teens

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Vibrators for teens - Dan Savage, Savage Love Posted: 04 Aug 2010 06:10 PM PDT "Anyone old enough to have a dick in her tw*t is old enough to have a vibrator in her nightstand. And social and cultural conservatives are apparently unaware of e-commerce. Amazon has a nice selection of vibrators. Young ladies who want a vibrator don't need to be of legal age to enter venues that sell sexual paraphernalia. All they need is internet access and a credit card."

Social Pegging

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Social Pegging Social site where pegging fans congregate, chat, post pictures, etc. Posted: 30 Jul 2010 10:27 AM PDT

Actress Envy masturbates and gets anal sex

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Envy, hot brunette secretary, masturbates and gets anal sex | Fantasti.cc Posted: 19 Jul 2010 01:16 AM PDT

Hot guy talking about words and libraries

If you've watched any sports programming recently, you've seen the Old Spice guy. (If you're a straight woman or a gay man and you skipped the World Cup, you missed some fine, um, sports programming.) Anyway, here he is talking about words and libraries. It doesn't have to make sense, just watch.

Why *mature* women lust

Time magazine has an article called The Science of Cougar Sex: Why Older Women Lust.

First thought: duh!

Second thought: Who you callin' "older" or a "cougar" for that matter?

Then I thought, I'm a woman of a certain age myself, maybe I should know about this. Turns out, according to evolutionary theory, women between 27 and 45 (this is what they're calling "older"?) have bodies that still want to get pregnant but need more sex to make it likely. I guess that makes sense. I don't want to get pregnant myself, but I do recall getting hornier in my mid- to late 20s. (And you, dear reader, are one of the beneficiaries of that biological fact!)

I'm still not keen on the title of the article, though. "Cougar" connotes an older woman who is out to get younger guys. And if that works for you, cougars, more power to you! But the article had nothing to do with that. It was about sexy *mature* women having more sex with partners of any age.

Cara gets a surprise

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Mike’s Gift to me « ZymurgyMike Posted: 11 Jul 2010 09:21 PM PDT Cara gets a surprise. College guy Alex has her dress in skimpy clothes and takes her, blindfolded, to a massage place. There women and men finger her and lick her. Pussy greets her mouth. Cocks penetrate her mouth, pussy, ass. All of this with husband Mike's permission!

Anal for women and men

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Sex Secrets » Blog Archive » My First Anal Sex Experience Posted: 01 Jul 2010 05:40 AM PDT Svetlana writes about her first time.

Slipping - The Fiona Files IV Posted: 01 Jul 2010 05:27 AM PDT A male rape fantasy, if you can believe that, with a woman watching and masturbating. It was hot, even with the spelling and other errors.

The last person out of the closet

CNN, of all places, has a lovely story about The last person out of the closet? The bisexual male. Much of the article concerns happily married (to a woman) Robert Winn, but the reactions he gets could apply to any bi guy:

He frequently battles the stereotypes of bisexuality: That bisexual men are promiscuous. That his relationships with men were just an adolescent phase. That his bisexuality is imaginary. That he's really a gay man trying to camouflage his orientation.

Read the whole article and share it with any bi men in your life.

Bend over: a pegging story

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Bend Over, Chef! « On Intimacy Posted: 29 Jun 2010 09:26 PM PDT

Mature Nina Hartley video

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To masturbate is human

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Bering in Mind: One reason why humans are special and unique: We masturbate. A lot. Posted: 23 Jun 2010 10:36 PM PDT