Over on my post, Prostate Milking and Femdom, a commenter I'll call "Mr. Anonymous" had trouble believing any men like orgasm denial, prostate massage, or ruined orgasm. (I know he's a Mr. because he told me he had a penis.) Here's my response, which I think is worthy of being a separate post. If you're into any of these things, please post your thoughts in the comments.
I don't want to get into a pissing contest with one of my readers, Mr. Anonymous, but I still take issue with some of your statements. You're right about one thing: I don't have a penis, so I don't know what blue balls feel like. (I would think that having balls would be the main requirement, but I will defer to your experience here.) I have a back, though, so I know what whipping feels like. It hurts. I don't want it to happen to me. Yet there are people in this world who get off sexually on being whipped.
Pain can be a turn-on (for some people), especially when it's inflicted by a lover in an unequal power dynamic. And when it's the woman inflicting pain on the man, there's the whole dominant woman-submissive man role reversal that some people enjoy.
For all these reasons, some men like to be denied orgasms by their wives or girlfriends. (Note that I am not talking about going without a release of semen. That's known as "semen retention," and there are people who practice that for sexual, religious, or [misguided] health reasons. I have no trouble believing that's unhealthy for the prostate.)
What I'm talking about is when a man gets to release semen, but goes without a full orgasm for some period of time. One way to do this is through "prostate massage," or "milking." Prostate massage is where a man's lover fingers his prostate (through the, erm, back entrance). If there is little or no penile stimulation, the result is that the man emits semen, but does not have an orgasm.
A "ruined orgasm" is when a man's lover does provide penile stimulation -- if she is a dominant woman, she is sometimes called a masturbatrix -- but only up to a point. Just before he would experience a full orgasm, she lets go. Again, he emits semen and feels some pleasure, but less than he would during a fully satisfying orgasm. Believe it or not, there are some men who enjoy this. (Read the comment above, from June 3, 2012, in which the commenter claims to have 5-13 ruined orgasms in a session.)
There are a number of scenarios I can think of in which a man would want to have ruined orgasms:
- He wants something a little different.
- He wants to prolong sex with his partner. A man can have many ruined orgasms, but once he has a full one, he's done for a while.
- He likes pain/discomfort (masochism).
- He likes giving control of his orgasms to a dominant woman (masochism / submission).
- He likes being cuckolded -- yes, there are men who like this -- and not being allowed to have a full orgasm while his wife's lover does get to have full orgasms with her (masochism / submission / cuckold fetish).
Don't take my word for it, Mr. Anonymous. I urge you to Google the terms I've used above -- "prostate massage," "ruined orgasm," "mastubatrix." You will find forums where penis-possessing individuals are happily discussing these practices. Heck, you can even find videos in which penis-possessing individuals are willingly participating in these practices.
Just to get you started: take a look at Milovana.com . Much of the site is devoted to men discussing ruined orgasms and making "teases," in which a beautiful woman coaches the male viewer to have a ruined orgasm.
There are sexual practices that turn some people on and some people off. I hope the posts and comments on this blog show