Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I'm in lust

OMG.

I'm in lust.

With a statue.

I happened to be visiting Our Nation's Capital and touring our nation's art museum when I happened upon this statue. It's so gorgeously androgynous that I wasn't sure at first if it was a woman with very small breasts and a figleaf in her crotch or a thin man with a figleaf in his crotch. It turned out to be the latter.

His name is Apollino ("little Apollo" -- I knew he was divine) and he's apparently a copy of one in the Villa Medici made by Francesco Righetti in the late 18th, early 19th century.

All I know is that I wanted to jump the bones of this adorable young man the minute I saw him.

Noted heterosexual poet Percy Bysshe Shelley knew what I mean. Writing about the original statue in Italy (I think), he wrote:

It is difficult to conceive anything more delicately beautiful than the Ganymede; but the spirit-like lightness, the softness, the flowing perfection of [the Apollino's] forms, surpass it. The countenance, though exquisitely lovely and gentle, is not divine. There is a womanish vivacity of winning yet passive happiness, and yet a boyish inexperience exceedingly delightful. Through the limbs there seems to flow a spirit of life which gives them lightness. Nothing can be more perfectly lovely than the legs, and the union of the feet with the ankles, and the fading away of the lines of the feet to the delicate extremities. It is like a spirit even in dreams. The neck is long yet full, and sustains the head with its profuse and knotted hair as if it needed no sustaining.

Updated: I assumed Shelley was straight because he married two women, the second of whom was Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein. Apparently he was bisexual.

Photo by Ed Uthman. Some rights reserved.

Monday, September 1, 2014

On orgasm denial, semen retention, prostate massage, and ruined orgasm


Over on my post, Prostate Milking and Femdom, a commenter I'll call "Mr. Anonymous" had trouble believing any men like orgasm denial, prostate massage, or ruined orgasm.  (I know he's a Mr. because he told me he had a penis.)  Here's my response, which I think is worthy of being a separate post.  If you're into any of these things, please post your thoughts in the comments.

I don't want to get into a pissing contest with one of my readers, Mr. Anonymous, but I still take issue with some of your statements.  You're right about one thing: I don't have a penis, so I don't know what blue balls feel like.  (I would think that having balls would be the main requirement, but I will defer to your experience here.)  I have a back, though, so I know what whipping feels like.  It hurts.  I don't want it to happen to me.  Yet there are people in this world who get off sexually on being whipped. 

Pain can be a turn-on (for some people), especially when it's inflicted by a lover in an unequal power dynamic.  And when it's the woman inflicting pain on the man, there's the whole dominant woman-submissive man role reversal that some people enjoy. 

For all these reasons, some men like to be denied orgasms by their wives or girlfriends.  (Note that I am not talking about going without a release of semen.  That's known as "semen retention," and there are people who practice that for sexual, religious, or [misguided] health reasons.  I have no trouble believing that's unhealthy for the prostate.)

What I'm talking about is when a man gets to release semen, but goes without a full orgasm for some period of time.  One way to do this is through "prostate massage," or "milking."  Prostate massage is where a man's lover fingers his prostate (through the, erm, back entrance).  If there is little or no penile stimulation, the result is that the man emits semen, but does not have an orgasm.

A "ruined orgasm" is when a man's lover does provide penile stimulation -- if she is a dominant woman, she is sometimes called a masturbatrix -- but only up to a point.  Just before he would experience a full orgasm, she lets go.  Again, he emits semen and feels some pleasure, but less than he would during a fully satisfying orgasm.  Believe it or not, there are some men who enjoy this.  (Read the comment above, from June 3, 2012, in which the commenter claims to have 5-13 ruined orgasms in a session.)

There are a number of scenarios I can think of in which a man would want to have ruined orgasms:

  • He wants something a little different.
  • He wants to prolong sex with his partner.  A man can have many ruined orgasms, but once he has a full one, he's done for a while.
  • He likes pain/discomfort (masochism).
  • He likes giving control of his orgasms to a dominant woman (masochism / submission).
  • He likes being cuckolded -- yes, there are men who like this -- and not being allowed to have a full orgasm while his wife's lover does get to have full orgasms with her (masochism / submission / cuckold fetish).

Don't take my word for it, Mr. Anonymous.  I urge you to Google the terms I've used above -- "prostate massage," "ruined orgasm," "mastubatrix."  You will find forums where penis-possessing individuals are happily discussing these practices.  Heck, you can even find videos in which penis-possessing individuals are willingly participating in these practices.

Just to get you started: take a look at Milovana.com .  Much of the site is devoted to men discussing ruined orgasms and making "teases," in which a beautiful woman coaches the male viewer to have a ruined orgasm.

There are sexual practices that turn some people on and some people off.  I hope the posts and comments on this blog show that.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Bob McDonnell's cuckold defense

Former Gov. Bob McDonnell of Virginia and his wife Maureen are accused of taking bribes from a businessman dealing in dietary supplements. The couple are now alleging that Maureen had a relationship with the businessman that "some people would consider inappropriate" and that he was her "favorite playmate" (which "implies there was more than one playmate," as MSNBC's Chuck Todd drolly notes).

Just wow. Is the governor trying to save his skin (and avoid decades in prison) by admitting that he is a cuckold and his wife is a slut? (Not that there's anything wrong with cuckoldry in my book, as long as it's consensual cuckoldry.) If he's telling the truth, that's kinda degrading. If he's lying, not only is he crooked, but he's willing to drag himself and his wife through the mud to get away with it.

There are some problems with this story. Many of the gifts and loans, such as the money for his real estate firm, the golf games, and the Ferrari ride, seem aimed at him rather than her. And whatever favors she did for the businessman, he seems to have done some, too.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Manly yes, but I like it, too!


If you're old enough, you probably remember a commercial in which an Irishman talks about his favorite soap, to which his colleen says, "Manly yes, but I like it, too!" Well, that's how I feel about porn videos that feature straight men for the gay viewer. They're straight men doing what straight men do (i.e., screwing straight women), but it's aimed at gay men. I'm going to describe how these videos differ from most straight porn (that is, porn made by straight men for straight men) and what's in it for straight women like me.

The Men The men are mostly beautiful, if not gorgeous. They have cute asses, and their penises are above average in size (not a surprise in any kind of porn). They don't have the giant cocks seen in some genres, though.  

This straight woman's response: What's not to like?  

The Women The women range from good-looking to almost plain, by porn standards. Most of them seem to have small breasts (again, by porn standards). I assume that's less distracting for the gay viewer.  

This straight woman's response: As a woman who doesn't look like a porn star and who has small breasts, I like to see women I can identify with.  

Clothing The men's clothing is nothing special -- not like the formalwear or workmen's togs seen in porn aimed at women. The woman often peels the man's clothing off slowly, taking time to relish his shapely butt and his semi-erect penis straining to escape from his undershorts. The women often keep their tops or dresses on during sex -- again, possibly to minimize distractions for the gay viewers.

This straight woman's response: I've got no complaints if someone wants to linger over a male ass or a penis and give me a good look! Regarding bottomless sex (for men or women), the way I look at it is that she or he was in such a hurry to have sex that they didn't have time to get their top off. And that's kind of hot.

 The Sex: Once the man gets his clothes off, the woman usually worships the male ass. There's more fellatio than cunnilingus in these videos, and the woman's orgasm is optional. Both of these things, sadly, are not unusual in male-produced porn. The camera caresses the man's body and gives less attention to the woman.  

This straight woman's response: I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the focus of these videos. This is the very male world of porn made by men for men who are interested in men. Still, I'd like to see the woman enjoying herself, too.  

The Cumshot and its aftermath The man always comes outside the woman's vagina, often onto his own torso. (After all, if she's got a top on, he doesn't want to stain her clothes, right?) Afterwards, one of two things usually happens: either she gently towels off his penis, groin, chest, and any other body parts on which cum has landed, or she licks or wipes up his cum and eats it.  

This straight woman's response: I always find it more romantic when the man comes while inside the woman (even if he's wearing a condom). I don't need to see spunk flying around the room to know that the on-screen lovers had a good time. That said, when the woman towels off the man, that's very cute. And cum eating? It can be hot if you're into that sort of thing.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Porn sex vs. real sex

I hope none of this will come as a shock to my readers.

Monday, April 8, 2013

The final word on penis size?

Science magazine has what it thinks might be The Final Word on Penis Size? (Question mark theirs.) (In case you were wondering whether the headline referred to your humble blogger: I've written about penises before, and I'll probably write about them again. However, their sizes are not their only notable quality.)

Using data from a large study of Italian men, the researchers created 343 computer-generated male figures that varied in penis size, as well as in height and shoulder-to-hip ratio—traits that other research has linked to attractiveness and reproductive success. Mautz and colleagues turned the figures into short video clips and projected them, life-sized, onto a wall for viewing by 105 women. Each woman watched a random set of 53 figures and rated their attractiveness as potential sexual partners on a scale of 1 to 7.

"The first thing we found was that penis size influences male attractiveness," Mautz says. "There's a couple of caveats to that, and the first is that the relationship isn't a straight line." Rather than the attractiveness rating consistently improving with each jump in penis size, the team found what Mautz calls "an odd kink in the middle." Attractiveness increased quickly until flaccid penis length reached 7.6 centimeters (about 3 inches) and then began to slow down, the team reports online today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

More from Science

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Condoms in porn: should they be mandated?

Hey hi, all.  I missed you, did you miss me?  I've gotta put this out there before the election, but I promise I have some sexier topics in mind for writing about after Nov. 6.

I don't live in Los Angeles County, but I've been thinking about this measure they have on the November ballot, Measure B, which would require the use of condoms in all porn filmed there (vaginal and anal, but not oral).  Since a huge percentage of U.S. porn in made in L.A. County, this would have a big effect on the industry.  Some companies are threatening to move; others say that wouldn't be so easy.  Porn stars have come out against the measure.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Pro Measure B:

When I watch porn with unprotected sex scenes -- which is most porn I see -- I worry about the actors involved.  I really don't want them risking their health for my entertainment.  The industry argues that its customers don't want to see condoms.  I'm here to tell you that they don't speak for me.  I'd much rather see the man come with his penis in the woman's pussy than the common "come-shot," where semen goes flying everywhere.  Coming inside is so much more loving and romantic.  And if anyone needs proof of the man's orgasm afterwards, he can pull his condom-clad penis out, and we can see the rubber full of spunk.  (To see what I mean, check out this scene featuring the beautiful Persia Monir.)

Anti Measure B:

The industry argues that it has a testing regimen that (mostly) works, and that requiring condoms would infringe their free speech rights.  (You could argue that forcing people to wear seatbelts or motorcycle helmets infringes their free speech rights, too.  I don't buy that argument.)

I guess what sways me in the end is the Los Angeles Times' editorial opposing measure B.  They conclude:

If Los Angeles County could demonstrate that it was ready, willing and able to enforce a permit and condom requirement or that producers would not simply evade the requirement by leaving the county (and if audiences would choose to watch explicit sex scenes depicting condoms) [Note: I'm ready for more porn with condoms, as I said above.  -- V.P.], Measure B could merit support. Instead, it's impossible to predict the results of passage. Measure B then falls into the category of "Let's pass it and see what happens." That's a bad way to make law because it puts government, or voters, on a track toward regulating all kinds of conduct without any hope of enforcing the requirements fairly and equally, and that in turn undermines the power of government.

Performers should use condoms. Producers should encourage them to do so. But the power of law to make them do it is limited. So is the desirability of always turning to government and lawmaking to address all dangers.