Sunday, February 4, 2018

I hate intercourse

Note: You should probably read this piece's sister essay, I hate foreplay, before reading this one.

I hate intercourse.

Don't get me wrong. I love screwing. I love having part of my man inside me -- his beautiful penis in my pussy. I love the way he moves, making me feel good, making himself feel good. I love to touch my clit as he fills me, making myself feel even better. I love when he explodes, leaving his juice in my pussy.

What I dislike is the assumption that all heterosexual activity will result in penis-vaginal intercourse. The idea that if you haven't had intercourse, you haven't had sex. (This dutiful doing-it-because-you're-supposed-to is what I call intercourse. When you're doing it because you want to, that I call screwing.)

So, I've let The Boyfriend know that when we get into bed:

  • Screwing is not guaranteed.
  • His orgasm is not guaranteed (but mine is).

The first rule ensures that we keep in mind that sex encompasses acts other than intercourse, and we only screw when we both really want to. Now, since The Boyfriend wants to screw every time we get in bed, that means, by necessity, that I have veto power.

The second rule comes about because of the facts of life:

  1. Time for sexual activity is finite.
  2. Most women don't have an orgasm from intercourse (or screwing) alone.

Sooner or later, we all have to get out of bed to go to work, care for family members, do chores, etc. So, in my limited time for sex, I can:

  1. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then screw The Boyfriend (or give him a blowjob or a handjob), so he gets to come, or
  2. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then deny The Boyfriend an orgasm and have y more orgasms in that time myself.

Now, most of the time, I'm a considerate and caring lover and go for option A. But sometimes, I get greedy and go for option B. I get to masturbate, receive cunnilingus, screw him if I want, have as many orgasms as I want, but he doesn't get to come if I don't let him. I have to admit it's a turn-on when I have been satisfied with multiple orgasms and I see his erect penis twitching and aching to come.

If I deny him an orgasm, he's on his honor not to give himself one for at least 24 hours thereafter. If I catch him breaking this rule, I may have to apply a male chastity device to his penis

I don't believe in retributive justice for a whole gender, but I would point out that, for centuries, when a man and woman got in bed, the man was assured of having an orgasm, but the woman wasn't. In our relationship, anyway, that paradigm is reversed.

You may call me a femdom (or worse). You may call what we do a female-led relationship, or orgasm control, or orgasm denial, but it works for us.

Here's an illustration (click on it to see full size). The first graph is the usual paradigm. The second is what I'm advocating.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Birthday wishlist: an open letter to The Boyfriend

Dearest Boy,

As you know, my birthday is coming up. It's not a big one like a couple years ago,1 but a girl's birthday is a girl's birthday, so I'm dreaming big. (I know I may not get any of these wishes, but being with you will make it a special day.)

I've listed my wishes with descriptions and links to illustrative videos (for the reader's enjoyment).

Male strippers

One or more gorgeous guys to dance naked for my girlfriends and me. They should be strippers with benefits (i.e., we women get to touch the merchandise).

A lover

We've talked about how I'd like to cuckold you with another man. And you want it, too. You just have to get to the point where you're more turned on by the idea that you are tortured with jealousy. If we do this, I'd like an attractive man with whom I'll have some chemistry, but I promise not to fall in love with him.

A threesome (MFM)

Two men lavishing all their attention on me. (You are welcome to join in as one of the male participants, my sweet, or you could arrange for two other man to make love to me.)

A threesome (MMF)

Same as above, except that the men give some (homoerotic) attention to each other, for my viewing pleasure. (You are welcome to join in here, too, if you want to indulge your bisexual tendencies.)

  • Her boyfriend (?) brings her flowers and sings happy birthday, but her real gift is a threesome with another man
  • A mature wife and hubby are in bed celebrating her birthday, when a friend shows up. What's he doing here? Is he just here to film? Is he a playmate for the wife? Or is he a playmate for both of them? Spoiler: The answer becomes clear when he starts to suck hubby's penis.


Three or more men and li'l ol' me. Sorry, no women, I'm not very interested in lesbian activity.

All my love,


1. If you're not The Boyfriend and you're interested in my age, etc., see my social media at Pornhub, Xhamster, Xvideos, Diigo, GoodReads

Sunday, July 2, 2017

The Penis Fetish

Hey hi, all,

This is really interesting.

According to Dr. Dawn Michael, noted sex therapist,* cuckold husbands can develop a penis fetish. That means they are really interested in other men's penises. I know what you're thinking: "That means he's gay." I thought the same thing myself, but no, not necessarily. As long as he's not interested in men or having a relationship with a man — just penises — he's not gay.

Do you see what this means? If The Boyfriend has a penis fetish (or if he, um, develops ones), I can take a lover, and he will even encourage me to cuckold him, in the hopes of getting to experience the other man's penis. And yet it won't mean he's gay, which is good, because I do love him and all, and want to continue our relationship, and don't want him to run off with a boyfriend of his own.

Here is Dr. Dawn's video and some articles on the subject:

* She's got a lot of YouTube videos.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Vickie's Vocabulary, version 1.2

Vickie's Vocabulary now has its own page. Now with links to my Pornhub playlists and a dose of cock teasing. But don't worry, all major updates will be announced on the blog as well.

Vickie's Vocabulary: Cock Tease

From time to time, I will add new terms to Vickie's Vocabulary.

Cock Tease
Practice in which a man's partner stimulates his penis, but denies him intercourse or a fulfilling orgasm. See also Orgasm denial and Ruined orgasm.

Friday, June 2, 2017

"Gentrified: A Wife Seduced" by Kirsten McCurran (book review)

I've read a lot of cuckold fiction -- mostly short stories, a few novel-length works. Most of the novels seem to provide a scaffold on which to hang the sex scenes -- I read erotica, so I've certainly got nothing against sex scenes -- but not a lot of development. In her novel, McCurran takes the time she needs to develop her characters and their actions, and I think it pays off.

McCurran gives us a look into the thoughts of both Jess, a young wife and mother who has moved into a gentrifying district, and Winston, her handsome, black neighbor. Winston knows what he wants right from the beginning. Jess is unsure at each step; many of her thoughts end in question marks. This rings true for a man and a woman in their positions. (One thing that gives me pause, though, is that Winston sometimes thinks of Jess as "prey." Do men really think like that?) The other major characters are Kyle, Jess's husband, and Nicole, her best friend.

The story unfolds at a leisurely pace, with events deepening the relationships among the characters, yet with plenty of steamy sex along the way. I think any fan of cuckold erotica will find something to like here.