Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I'm in lust

OMG.

I'm in lust.

With a statue.

I happened to be visiting Our Nation's Capital and touring our nation's art museum when I happened upon this statue. It's so gorgeously androgynous that I wasn't sure at first if it was a woman with very small breasts and a figleaf in her crotch or a thin man with a figleaf in his crotch. It turned out to be the latter.

His name is Apollino ("little Apollo" -- I knew he was divine) and he's apparently a copy of one in the Villa Medici made by Francesco Righetti in the late 18th, early 19th century.

All I know is that I wanted to jump the bones of this adorable young man the minute I saw him.

Noted heterosexual poet Percy Bysshe Shelley knew what I mean. Writing about the original statue in Italy (I think), he wrote:

It is difficult to conceive anything more delicately beautiful than the Ganymede; but the spirit-like lightness, the softness, the flowing perfection of [the Apollino's] forms, surpass it. The countenance, though exquisitely lovely and gentle, is not divine. There is a womanish vivacity of winning yet passive happiness, and yet a boyish inexperience exceedingly delightful. Through the limbs there seems to flow a spirit of life which gives them lightness. Nothing can be more perfectly lovely than the legs, and the union of the feet with the ankles, and the fading away of the lines of the feet to the delicate extremities. It is like a spirit even in dreams. The neck is long yet full, and sustains the head with its profuse and knotted hair as if it needed no sustaining.

Updated: I assumed Shelley was straight because he married two women, the second of whom was Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein. Apparently he was bisexual.

Photo by Ed Uthman. Some rights reserved.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Bob McDonnell's cuckold defense

Former Gov. Bob McDonnell of Virginia and his wife Maureen are accused of taking bribes from a businessman dealing in dietary supplements. The couple are now alleging that Maureen had a relationship with the businessman that "some people would consider inappropriate" and that he was her "favorite playmate" (which "implies there was more than one playmate," as MSNBC's Chuck Todd drolly notes).

Just wow. Is the governor trying to save his skin (and avoid decades in prison) by admitting that he is a cuckold and his wife is a slut? (Not that there's anything wrong with cuckoldry in my book, as long as it's consensual cuckoldry.) If he's telling the truth, that's kinda degrading. If he's lying, not only is he crooked, but he's willing to drag himself and his wife through the mud to get away with it.

There are some problems with this story. Many of the gifts and loans, such as the money for his real estate firm, the golf games, and the Ferrari ride, seem aimed at him rather than her. And whatever favors she did for the businessman, he seems to have done some, too.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Manly yes, but I like it, too!


If you're old enough, you probably remember a commercial in which an Irishman talks about his favorite soap, to which his colleen says, "Manly yes, but I like it, too!" Well, that's how I feel about porn videos that feature straight men for the gay viewer. They're straight men doing what straight men do (i.e., screwing straight women), but it's aimed at gay men. I'm going to describe how these videos differ from most straight porn (that is, porn made by straight men for straight men) and what's in it for straight women like me.

The Men The men are mostly beautiful, if not gorgeous. They have cute asses, and their penises are above average in size (not a surprise in any kind of porn). They don't have the giant cocks seen in some genres, though.  

This straight woman's response: What's not to like?  

The Women The women range from good-looking to almost plain, by porn standards. Most of them seem to have small breasts (again, by porn standards). I assume that's less distracting for the gay viewer.  

This straight woman's response: As a woman who doesn't look like a porn star and who has small breasts, I like to see women I can identify with.  

Clothing The men's clothing is nothing special -- not like the formalwear or workmen's togs seen in porn aimed at women. The woman often peels the man's clothing off slowly, taking time to relish his shapely butt and his semi-erect penis straining to escape from his undershorts. The women often keep their tops or dresses on during sex -- again, possibly to minimize distractions for the gay viewers.

This straight woman's response: I've got no complaints if someone wants to linger over a male ass or a penis and give me a good look! Regarding bottomless sex (for men or women), the way I look at it is that she or he was in such a hurry to have sex that they didn't have time to get their top off. And that's kind of hot.

 The Sex: Once the man gets his clothes off, the woman usually worships the male ass. There's more fellatio than cunnilingus in these videos, and the woman's orgasm is optional. Both of these things, sadly, are not unusual in male-produced porn. The camera caresses the man's body and gives less attention to the woman.  

This straight woman's response: I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the focus of these videos. This is the very male world of porn made by men for men who are interested in men. Still, I'd like to see the woman enjoying herself, too.  

The Cumshot and its aftermath The man always comes outside the woman's vagina, often onto his own torso. (After all, if she's got a top on, he doesn't want to stain her clothes, right?) Afterwards, one of two things usually happens: either she gently towels off his penis, groin, chest, and any other body parts on which cum has landed, or she licks or wipes up his cum and eats it.  

This straight woman's response: I always find it more romantic when the man comes while inside the woman (even if he's wearing a condom). I don't need to see spunk flying around the room to know that the on-screen lovers had a good time. That said, when the woman towels off the man, that's very cute. And cum eating? It can be hot if you're into that sort of thing.