Friday, July 29, 2016

I hate foreplay

I hate "foreplay."

Don't get me wrong: I love the acts usually comprehended by that term. When I'm in bed with The Boyfriend, I am not overly hasty to get to the screwing part of the program.

I hate the word "foreplay." I hate the implication that all of those delicious acts are just a prelude to — and inferior to — intercourse, that "sex" means intercourse and everything else is not sex.

Here is my definition of "sex":

The entire gamut of intimate and loving human contact. It can involve genitalia, anuses, mouths, hands, and other organs. It is not limited to intercourse.

Some things to note about this:

  • It has to be "intimate and loving." A gynecological exam is not sex. Rape is not sex.
  • The genitalia or anus involved could be your own. Masturbation is sex.

All of the following are sex:

  • A hand on a breast
  • A hand on male genitalia
  • A finger (or hand) in an anus
  • A hand on or in female genitalia
  • A mouth on a breast
  • A mouth on male genitalia
  • A mouth on an anus
  • A mouth on or in female genitalia
  • A sextoy on a breast
  • A sextoy on male genitalia
  • A sextoy on or in an anus
  • A sextoy on or in female genitalia
  • A breast on a breast
  • A breast on female genitalia
  • A breast on male genitalia
  • Female genitalia on female genitalia
  • Male genitalia on male genitalia
  • Male genitalia on female genitalia
  • A penis on or in an anus
  • A penis on or in a vagina


  • Male genitalia includes penis, balls — the whole package.
  • Female genitalia includes vagina, vulva, labia, clitoris — the whole package.