A French threesome

I'm fascinated by this scene in which a white French couple invites a beautiful black man into their bed. Unfortunately, I don't know enough French to understand the subtleties of their backstory.

When the scene starts, Girlfriend is in bed with Boyfriend. She gets up, goes to the stairwell, where she meets their neighbor, who happens to be running around in his pink skivvies. (Is this guy confident about his masculinity, or what?) She talks to him and brings him back to the bedroom. Boyfriend wakes up, and after Girlfriend explains the situation, he is happy to see their neighbor, and all three get it on. Their lover might be named Pierre (or Gaston or Michel).

Situation A

Girlfriend: Oh hey, Pierre (or Gaston or Michel), I'm glad I caught you. Listen, Boyfriend and I have had a fantasy involving you?

Pierre (or Gaston or Michel): Moi?

Girlfriend: Yes, you. We'd like you to join us in bed for a threesome. I'm very attracted to you, and Boyfriend would like me to have this experience. What do you say? Is now a good time?

Pierre (or Gaston or Michel): Mais oui!

In bedroom

Girlfriend: Look who I found on our stairwell: Pierre (or Gaston or Michel)! I told him about our fantasy and he's into it!

Boyfriend: Well, get in bed then!

Situation B

Girlfriend: Bonjour, cher Pierre (or Gaston or Michel). Thanks for making our rendezvous.

Pierre (or Gaston or Michel): No problem, cherie. I can't wait to get with you again.

Girlfriend: I want to suggest a little change of plans.

Pierre (or Gaston or Michel): Oh?

Girlfriend: I'm tired of sneaking around, see. So, instead of going back to your place, I'd like you to come to mine.

Pierre (or Gaston or Michel): What about your boyfriend?

Girlfriend: I'll handle him.

In bedroom

Girlfriend: Boyfriend, this is Pierre (or Gaston or Michel) from upstairs. We've been screwing three times a week for months. We're going to do it here this morning. You can participate, or watch, or leave the room.

Boyfriend: Well, get in bed then!

If any of you know enough French to follow the dialog in this scene, please post a comment below to explain it to me. Merci!

Vickie's Vocabulary: YILF

From time to time, I will add new terms to Vickie's Vocabulary.

YILF

Youth I'd like to screw. [Origin: my own coinage, back-formation from MILF.]

• Blog: My posts on YILFs
• Pornhub: My favorite YILFs
• Pornhub: My Beautiful young men playlist
• XVideos: My Beautiful young men gallery
• Diigo: My Young lover links

What do I like? My sexual paradigm

I've written that I hate foreplay and I hate intercourse. (If you haven't read those sister essays, please read them before reading this one.)

So, what do I like? I made a long list of sexual activities. I like doing most of these things. The list is not exhaustive, though. Use your imagination! If something seems sexual to you -- as long as it involves consenting adults -- it probably is. The point is, there are many kinds of sexual activities. If you are engaging in one or more of them, you are having sex. It's still sex even if you don't do intercourse/screwing.

So, that's the first rule: penile-vaginal intercourse is optional. You should do it if both partners want to do it. Since straight men, in my experience, want to do it every time they get in bed, that gives the woman an effective veto. If she doesn't want it, it doesn't happen. Ladies, if you want your man to lick your pussy instead of screwing, have him do that. If you want him to watch as you masturbate, do that. If you want him to use his penis to pleasure your vulva, but not put it inside your vagina (outercourse), do that. If you want to screw him for a while but stop before he comes, do that. Do what makes you feel good.

That leads to my second rule: the woman's orgasm is NOT optional. Ladies, when you get in bed, you should resolve to come as much as you want. If you get caught up in your own orgasms and your man doesn't get to come before it's time to go to sleep or get the kids, so be it.

What if your man just wants to masturbate to orgasm?

If that's all he wants, it seems churlish to say no. However, if the woman just doesn't have the energy or the interest to put up with her man jerking off in her presence, I think she is within her rights to tell him to take care of that in another time or place. (If the couple practices male orgasm denial, she can tell him not to do it at all, but that's a post for another day.)

Vickie, you get to have as many of your orgasms as you want, however you want. You get to masturbate in front of your partner. Yet your man might not get to do any of these things. Isn't that a double standard?

I am convinced that the female orgasm is superior to that of the male in quality as well as quantity. A woman meeds some scope to get as much satisfaction from her orgasms as possible. Sometimes, there just won't be time enough for the male orgasm.

Also, for centuries, men were assured of the primacy of their orgasms. They got to come every time they got in bed with a woman. The women? Not so much. It's time for the primacy of the female orgasm. If some male orgasms are sacrificed, I'm OK with that.

On a more personal note, The Boyfriend and I are moving to a Female Led Relationship (FLR). This is a step in our relationship. Control the penis (and its orgasm), and you control the man. If any of this intrigues you, I urge you to discuss it with your partner and give it a try.

MILFs and YILFs

I am a fan of MILF porn, as you can probably tell from this blog and its links. I love to see women my age (or close to it) seizing sexual fulfillment. Another thing I like is that the MILFs often have their way with beautiful young men. Below is my list of my favorite YILFs, or Youths I'd Like to screw. (I've included their birth years, so you can see how young they are. Some of these young men are now in their 30s, but they're still 15-20 years younger than me.)

• Johnny Castle (1980)
• Bill Bailey (1980)
• Julius Ceazher (1980)
• Nathan Threat (1981)
• Flash Brown (1981)
• Moe Johnson (1981)
• Brian Pumper (1981)
• Jon Jon (1981)
• Jason Brown (1982)
• Ryan Driller (1982)
• Rocco Reed (1982)
• CJ Wright (1982)
• Ryan McLane (1982)
• Dane Cross (1983)
• Rob Piper (1983)
• Rico Strong (1984)
• Giovanni Francesco (1984)
• Michael Vegas (1984)
• Bruce Venture (1985)
• Danny Wylde (1985)
• James Deen (1986)
• Tyler Nixon (1987)
• Clover (1987)
• Kyle Mason (1987)
• Seth Gamble (1988)
• Xander Corvus (1988)
• Jax Slayher (1988)
• Isiah Maxwell (1989)
• Logan Pierce (1990)
• Van Wylde (1990)
• Rion King (1991)
• Ricky Johnson (1992)

I hate intercourse

Note: You should probably read this piece's sister essay, I hate foreplay, before reading this one.

I hate intercourse.

Don't get me wrong. I love screwing. I love having part of my man inside me -- his beautiful penis in my pussy. I love the way he moves, making me feel good, making himself feel good. I love to touch my clit as he fills me, making myself feel even better. I love when he explodes, leaving his juice in my pussy.

What I dislike is the assumption that all heterosexual activity will result in penis-vaginal intercourse. The idea that if you haven't had intercourse, you haven't had sex. (This dutiful doing-it-because-you're-supposed-to is what I call intercourse. When you're doing it because you want to, that I call screwing.)

So, I've let The Boyfriend know that when we get into bed:

• Screwing is not guaranteed.
• His orgasm is not guaranteed (but mine is).

The first rule ensures that we keep in mind that sex encompasses acts other than intercourse, and we only screw when we both really want to. Now, since The Boyfriend wants to screw every time we get in bed, that means, by necessity, that I have veto power.

The second rule comes about because of the facts of life:

1. Time for sexual activity is finite.
2. Most women don't have an orgasm from intercourse (or screwing) alone.

Sooner or later, we all have to get out of bed to go to work, care for family members, do chores, etc. So, in my limited time for sex, I can:

1. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then screw The Boyfriend (or give him a blowjob or a handjob), so he gets to come, or
2. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then deny The Boyfriend an orgasm and have y more orgasms in that time myself.

Now, most of the time, I'm a considerate and caring lover and go for option A. But sometimes, I get greedy and go for option B. I get to masturbate, receive cunnilingus, screw him if I want, have as many orgasms as I want, but he doesn't get to come if I don't let him. I have to admit it's a turn-on when I have been satisfied with multiple orgasms and I see his erect penis twitching and aching to come.

If I deny him an orgasm, he's on his honor not to give himself one for at least 24 hours thereafter. If I catch him breaking this rule, I may have to apply a male chastity device to his penis

I don't believe in retributive justice for a whole gender, but I would point out that, for centuries, when a man and woman got in bed, the man was assured of having an orgasm, but the woman wasn't. In our relationship, anyway, that paradigm is reversed.

You may call me a femdom (or worse). You may call what we do a female-led relationship, or orgasm control, or orgasm denial, but it works for us.

Here's an illustration (click on it to see full size). The first graph is the usual paradigm. The second is what I'm advocating.