Monday, July 20, 2009

Outercourse (non-penetrative sex)

Suppose you're having sex with a man, but you don't want to put his penis in your vagina, anus, or mouth.

Why would I want to do that?

You might want to do this in order to:

  • Reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases
  • Reduce the risk of pregnancy
  • Save intercourse for later
  • Be intimate when you can't have intercourse because of health issues
  • Deny your partner an orgasm
  • Try something new and hot
Whoa, back up there, Vickie. "Deny your partner an orgasm"? What??!

Yes, it's true; some women and men are turned on by the idea of not letting the man come during sex. However, these practices don't require the man not to come. He can still get off, if that's what's desired.

OK, Vickie, but are these practices really sex?

The practices I'm referring to are known as non-penetrative sex. They are also sometimes called outercourse. Some of them come under the name of frottage.

But what is it exactly, Vickie?

Non-penetrative sex acts (outercourse) include:

  • Kissing
  • Talking dirty
  • Phone sex, text sex, etc.
  • Nipple play
  • Stroking yourself (masturbation)
  • Stroking your partner (mutual/shared masturbation, handjob)
  • Rubbing the external parts of the female genitalia (vulva, clitoris) with hands, foot, penis, etc.
  • Rubbing the penis with hands, foot, breasts, thighs, buttocks, vulva, anal entrance, etc.
  • Frottage ("dry humping")
But, Vickie, is it hot sex?

Still not sure non-penetrative sex can be hot? Check out this video featuring porn star Liza Harper.

Do you practice non-penetrative sex? If so, what do you do and why? Tell us about it in the comments below. You can do it anonymously if you want.


  1. My wife and I do intergluteal sex (butt sex) where I rub my penis between her cheeks with lube and I finish off by f**king her in her anal entrance with my hand providing help and keeping me from plunging right in. She is menopausal and has pain from dryness, pain with clitoral stimulation. Don't want to do HRT for health reasons, localized HRT seemed to help but she has other temporary health issues so doesn't want to do it at this time. We had not done vaginal intercourse for over a year and did some butt sex weekly to satisfy me. I found that with her laying face down, I can warm up with the buttocks lying more or less on top of her, then to finish off I straddle the upper thighs and thrust to climax into the anal entrance. This is satisfying as it is similar to vaginal or anal intercourse but causes her no pain. Even if she can't do vaginal intercourse any more this will satisfy me. Oh she has a real small mouth so oral is a rare and short treat.

  2. Thanks for commenting. I'm glad to hear this works for you and your wife. We all need to remember that there are different kinds of sex, and as long as everybody involved is legally consenting and enjoying it, I say go for it!