Cunnilingus in North Korea, part II

You'll have to excuse me, but I am loving this video. It purports to be a speech by Kim Jong-Il, leader of communist North Korea, extolling the value of cunnilingus -- something (he claims) his countrymen are good at. It's presented by Young Hae Chang Heavy Industries. The YouTube video (below) is easier for me to embed and for you to pause if you need to. (The song, by the way, is "See Line Woman" by Nina Simone.)



Still went by too fast for you? I understand. Below is a transcription from a discussion group (with my additions of some parts they left out):

The following is a text that North Korea's dear leader Kim Jong-Il asked Young Hae Change Heavy Industries to present. 10 Nine 8 Seven 6 Five 4 Three. Young Hae Chang Heavy Industries presents Cunnilingus, North Korea: Cunnilingus in North Korea.

Thank you for inviting me to talk to you about sex and gender in North Korea. Dialectical sex and gender is not just one of my intellectual passions. It is a national priority, one that is at the heart of a sexually healthy nation and, in the end, a happy people. (Dialectical sex and gender = happy people.) Dialectical sex and gender is also at the heart of successful communism, a concept that we in the north fully understand and appreciate. It goes without saying that sexism is linked to capitalism. It also goes without saying that sexual equality is inherent in Marxism. What is uncertain is whether by definition all communist nations have sexual equality.

The answer, I'm sorry to say, is no. (No. No, no, no, no.)

But here in North Korea, we have succeeded in creating sexual equality. And here in North Korea, sexual equality is not only practical and intellectual, but, more, importantly, sexual. (In North Korea, sexual equality is sexy.) Yes, here in North Korea, a constant dialectic has revealed to the masses, in the most practical and intellectual fashion, that the most important manifestation of dialectical sex and gender is sex itself.

Pure, unadulterated, uninhibited, utterly free sex. (Utterly free sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.)

I realize that South Koreans blush at the mere thought of free sex. I realize that youin the South are not even free to talk about explicit sex. (Explicit sex talk.) You are in fact, slaves to bourgeois sexual inhibition.

I feel sorry for you. But I also have hope for you. (All right.) Allow me to enlighten you further. (All right now.)

For a nation to be sexually progressive, and before South Korea can free itself from bourgeois sexual prejudice, whether it be in discussing, or more importantly, having sex, it must confront the real issues in sexual freedom. (All right.) My instinct is to say communist sexual freedom, but, quite frankly, sex transcends, through dialectical materialism, the frontiers of all nations, communist or capitalist. Sexual freedom is a universal right.

Here then are the real issues in sexual freedom: (all right. Yeah, yeah.) orgasm, or rather, its relative absence in the bourgeois female; female multiple orgasm, through oral sex -- that is, cunnilingus; or rather, the bourgeois female's frustration at having her sexual partner, most often a male, give it to her; and if he does, give it to her in an effective prolonged, and loving manner; female multiple orgasm with sex toys, such as vibrators, and the bourgeois female's unnatural inhibition toward them, inhibitions dictated by the bourgeois male; and so on.

Please notice that I have only mentioned issues of sexual freedom that are definitely barriers to sexual equality in South Korea. It would be impossible, in the context of this address, to discuss all the female sexual inhibitions that are male generated and endemic to capitalism. Suffice to say that we North Koreans pity you, because money and the baubles it buys have become more important to you than sexual pleasure.

Here in the North, where life can be difficult, we see sexual pleasure as getting something for nothing. And we see prolonged sexual pleasure as getting a lot and giving a lot, with absolutely no capitalistic bartering. Not to mention that prolonged sexual pleasure is great for the health.

Which brings me to the orgasm, or, as I have said, its relative absence in the bourgeois female. North Korean dialectical materialism has uncovered something elementary, that for a woman to have an incredibly pleasurable, long, and multiple orgasm (what we consider the very definition of "orgasm"), she must first shed the chains of her bourgeois enslavement. Specifically, she must believe the is the equal of her male partner.

Let me say something quite simple here: In North Korea, all women know they are the equals of their male partners. And, just as important, their male partners know it, too. This intellectual, psychological, and sexual equality translates into great sex. We know, for example, that in South Korea, men do their thing, women do theirs. Men go out, women stay at home. This is wrong. In the North, men and women stay together. For a woman to have a great orgasm, not only do we in the North believe she should have it in partnership with her male companion(s), but that her male companion(s) should be her proud partner(s).

Most women in the North enjoy prolonged foreplay with a partner. Prolonged foreplay means a long, long time. (Hey babe. Yea, yea. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.) It means that South Korean men should spend more time with South Korean women. Most North Korean woman especially enjoy up to an hour or more of cunnilingus. Most North Korean men know this, and enjoy giving prolonged cunnilingus as much as North Korean women enjoy receiving it. Cunnilingus is an art, and North Korean men know all the tricks of the trade. They know how to blow, lick, nibble, bite, and suck women's erogenous zones, around and inside her vagina.

Cunnilingus is a dialectic like any other. Our party policy is to encourage North Korean women to express verbally their most explicit sexual desires before, during, and after sex. (Hey babe. Yea, yea. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.) In turn, men express their sexual desires. But as a result of our dialectic, preference is given to women's sexual desires. There is indeed something thrilling, and I mean sexually arousing, in a North Korean woman who cries out her passion, her sexual pleasure, her orgasm, in words, whimpers, sighs, gasps, and yelps. Indeed, these sounds are the music of sexual victory, and of North Korean women's victory over their southern counterparts. Theirs is a great victory for North Korea. (Oh, babe.)

As North Korea's leader, I accept the responsibility for certain failures in our country. But I take great pleasure, today, in presenting this triumph of North Korean communism. In spite of my people's continuing hardships and their oppression from without, I can say with confidence that North Korean women are sexually happy women. And North Korean men, thanks to their superior knowledge and practice of cunnilingus, are proud to bring North Korean women to climax after climax after climax after climax. Thank you for allowing me to talk to you today about what we in North Korea consider a paramount issue in sexual equality and social justice: female multiple orgasm through cunnilingus.

Long live North Korean cunnilingus!
Long live North Korean sexual equality!
Long live North Korean communism!

Long live North Korean cunnilingus!
Long live North Korean sexual equality!
Long live North Korean communism!

Long live North Korean cunnilingus!
Long live North Korean sexual equality!
Long live North Korean communism!

Long live North Korean cunnilingus!
Long live North Korean sexual equality!
Long live North Korean communism!

Long live North Korean cunnilingus!

Still don't know what to make of it? Check out the discussion on Metafilter.