Ruined Orgasms: Another Mystery

When is a man's orgasm not an orgasm? When it's a ruined orgasm. Yep, it's another mystery of boyparts.

Here's how it works. You give your man a handjob. You get him very close to coming. Then you let go. If all goes well, his erect penis will twitch and ejaculate. If he's not quite ready, stroke him some more and let go. Repeat as necessary. (If your man is enough of a submissive, you might get him to tell you when he's close to coming.)

You get to enjoy what appears to be a (potentially spectacular) male orgasm. He, on the other hand, will feel frustrated that you didn't stroke him to completion. (It's similar to the anal/prostate orgasm without penile stimulation that I've written about before.)

Unless you're a total femdom, I recommend you discuss this with your man and get his OK before doing it. I don't recommend springing it on him unannounced; that would be cruel. (Of course, if you are a total femdom, that's probably a selling point.)

I talked about this with The Boyfriend, and he agreed to try it. So we did. He said it was, um, interesting, but he's in no hurry to do it again.

I learned about ruined orgasms from Ruined Orgasms at the blog Caroline Cucks Michael (includes a 9-minute video of multiple ruined orgasms). Here's another video compilation.

Other posts in this series

Ruined Orgasms II

Ruined Orgasms III

The Porn I Like, part 2: Plots

I like a good story as much as the next woman, but I generally look for that in erotic novels. I don't expect to find it in the genres of visual porn I prefer. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know what those are:

• Pegging videos


• Bisexual (MMF threesome) videos

Pegging plots

If a pegging video has a plot, it's likely to be a dominant woman forcing an unwilling man to get fucked with her strap-on, insulting him all the while. (Here's a mild example: Strap Attack 11, featuring Charisma Cappelli) I prefer non-dominant pegging.

Bisexual plots

If a bisexual threesome video has a plot, it's likely to be one of two types:

• The woman tells her man she wants to have an MMF threesome. He's reluctant; maybe he says he's only received a blowjob from another guy. But before he can definitely say no, the other guy shows up and the threesome is on. (Example: Wanna F*ck My Wife, Gotta F*ck Me Too 4, scene 4: MILF Magdalene St. Michaels leads bisexual threesome )


• A dominant woman (again) forces her man to watch while she has sex with another man -- cuckolds him, in other words -- insulting him by telling him that the other guy is a better lover and has a larger penis. Then she'll force her man to play the "woman's role" by giving fellatio to the other man and receiving anal intercourse from him -- either way, he's the one getting penetrated. (A mild example, but a consensual one, which makes all the difference: Jennifer's husband comes out of the closet)

Of the two, I'd prefer the first scenario. But best of all is a loving menage, in which all parties seem to care about giving pleasure to everyone else. (Example: Wanna F*ck My Wife, Gotta F*ck Me Too 4, scene 3: Taisa Banx in Bisexual Threesome with Pegging)

Earlier posts in this series:

• The Porn I Like, part 1: What the Pundits Say

The Porn I Like, part 1: What the Pundits Say

A recent Wall Street Journal article, The Online World of Female Desire, goes through a lot of stereotypes about men getting off on two-minute video clips and women soaking up long romance novels (even if they did study a large number of web searches), before it finally gets to this:

Some female readers might be thinking, "This doesn't describe me at all!" And, in fact, somewhere between a quarter and a third of the visitors to the major pornography sites are women. Our data suggest that these women probably have a higher sex drive than other women and that they are more socially aggressive and more comfortable taking risks.

There. That's more like it. And, it seems to me, I've got a lot of female company if "between a quarter and a third of the visitors to the major pornography sites are women."

Maybe we just need to make our own erotica, argues Porn made for women, by women in the Guardian. (Tip of the dildo to the Sex Secrets blog.)

"It is a prejudice to say that women don't like porn," says Erika Lust, another fem porn director. "Sex images make you hot, but pornography has been made by and for men. In mainstream porn everything is about male pleasure and women are objects. Oral sex for men can last forever, but when women's turn comes it lasts 10 seconds. Female orgasms are not an issue in most of the films. And women are shown mostly as prostitutes, which is sad."

[...]

Lust adds: "To get excited women want to see something that looks like us. We want to see independent women exploring their sexuality, who are not afraid, but are not sex heroines either. We want to see attractive men who share our lifestyles, our ideas."

[...]

[Verena Chiara Kuckenberger:] "For women to admit to experiencing pleasure in watching pornography means overcoming stereotypes about female sexuality. There are women who do not want to consume pornography, but at the same time there is a potential female audience for porn and I would say it is bigger than it has been assumed so far and it is increasing as our society overcomes gendered stereotypes in general."

(Another Guardian article says enough women are watching enough porn that female porn addiction is not uncommon.)

In future posts, I'll write about the kinds of porn I like to see.

Bigger and Better

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It's that time again

Tomorrow night starts the High Holy Days, the first of which is Rosh Hashanah. I love communicating with my readers about our common interests, but my mind will be on other things for the next 10 days. You may think of me praying, atoning, and fasting.

I'll be back sometime after Sept. 18.

Very truly yours,
Vickie P.

Denial

"What??!"

That was my boyfriend's reaction when I told him on Monday that I wanted us to refrain from sex for a little while.

"It's just that I think you take me for granted sometimes," I started to explain.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Think about last week, when you went to Chicago for five days and called me -- what? -- once?"

"I'm sorry, lovey," he said trying to sweet talk me.

"You should be," I shot back, "and if you went without sex for a little while, you'd appreciate me more."

"All right, hon, if that's what you want," he said grudgingly.

I knew what he was thinking, though. On the occasional night when he wants sex and I don't, he stays up after I go to bed and, um, takes care of his own urges. That's why I took all of his DVDs — MILF videos, strap-on videos, MFF and MMF threesome videos — and all of his magazines — Playboys with his favorite centerfolds from the '80s — and locked them up. I also password-protected the computer, so he couldn't surf the Web for porn either.

On Tuesday morning, he asked, "Hey, baby, have you seen my videos and stuff?"

"You mean your wanking material? I put it away for a while."

"I'm not allowed to jerk off either??!"

"I said I wanted us to refrain from sex. Masturbation is sex, too."

"I guess that's why I can't use the computer. I need it for work sometimes, you know."

"I'll log you on and let you use it, but only when I'm around."

(I have to be honest here. Even though I said I wanted us to refrain from sex and that masturbation is sex, that didn't stop me from jilling off in the shower ever day. The sight of him in sexual frustration and the thought of what I'd do when I relieved him made me too horny to avoid touching myself.)

That night, my boyfriend did the dishes right after dinner. It's one of his chores anyway, but he's not usually so prompt.

Wednesday night, he vacuumed the carpet.

Thursday night, he put together a patio chair that broke months ago. I've never seen such an industrious man!

Friday morning, I woke at 5 a.m. and whispered in the ear of my still-sleeping boyfriend, "It's that time, baby." I reached under the covers and ran my hand along his nude body to discover, not surprisingly, that he had "morning wood." I stripped out of my pj's and panties and mounted his hard cock.

At this point, my boyfriend was wide awake. His brows were furrowed. He looked turned on and a little afraid at the same time. It must have been my stern look.

"Listen up, boyo," I barked. "You get to fuck me, but I decide the positions and I decide when you get to come. Got it?"

"Yes," he squeaked.

"Know what happens if you come too soon?"

"No."

"You've had four days without an orgasm. How would you like to make it eight days?"

"I understand, Miss Victoria."

(I've trained him to call me that when I'm feeling dominant. Nice, huh?)

I rode his cock ever so slowly. It was just enough movement to fill me up, but not enough friction to get him off. I reached down and stroked my clitoris and came almost instantly. The scene was really turning me on.

I rubbed myself to orgasm several more times, then dismounted. My boyfriend's face fell; his cock, on the other hand, was standing tall.

"You'll get to fuck me some more, silly," I said. "You can take me doggie style, but you're still not allowed to come."

I got on all fours, and he grabbed my ass and inserted his cock into my pussy. After several thrusts, he realized something was missing from our usual practice.

"Um, Miss Victoria, would you please reach back and tickle my balls?"

"Not this time, chum," I snapped. "I don't want you to come too soon."

So, I tickled my own genitalia instead and came multiple times.

I leaned forward, causing his cock to fall out again, and lay down on the bed.

"You can take me missionary, but you can't put more than an inch of your cock in me. And you have to make slow thrusts."

He groaned a little, but of course he agreed. After all, that was the only way he was getting any sex today. I lay on the bed and let him enter me.

He did as he was told — putting a little more than the head of his cock into my pussy and thrusting slowly.

"Would you like me to tickle your balls now?"

"Yes, Miss Victoria, please tickle my balls."

As I reached down, I warned him again, "Remember, no coming — yet."

The poor man was in delicious agony. The sensations he felt in his cock and his balls tantalized him. He moaned with the desire to let lose, yet his woman wouldn't let him come. I almost felt sorry for him. I would have felt sorry for him if his torments weren't turning me on so much.

"OK, baby, give it to me."

"Miss Victoria?"

"Yes, do it!"

I felt his cock explode into me. Wave upon wave of his come burst into me.

He came to rest upon me. Soon the clock radio went off, and as my man bustled around getting ready for work, I lay in bed dreamily with a pool of his essence inside of me.

The Boyfriend comes home

"Baby, I'm home!" he called from the front door.

As I came in from gardening in the backyard, I saw my man, tired after a week-long business trip, but looking sexy and dignified in his suit. I, on the other hand, was sweaty and grubby from gardening. He didn't notice that though, because he was too busy admiring my legs in my short shorts.

I strutted over and gave him a long, deep kiss. "I missed you," I said.

"I missed you, too," he said.

"Oh, yeah?" I teased. "Well, you can prove it by getting your butt in bed. I'm going to get cleaned up, and I want you naked when I get there." He didn't have to be told twice.

I got in the shower and paid extra attention to my private parts. I may have come once or twice while I was there.

I walked to the bedroom nude. There was my boyfriend, not a stitch on and slowly playing with his cock. I lay on top of him and gave him some more deep kisses. I reached down and felt him getting hard.

I got off and reached into my toy drawer next to the bed. I pulled out my strap-on dildo, harness, and lube.

"Oh, baby, do we have to do that tonight?" he whined. "I was hoping for something a little more vanilla after a long business trip."

"Exactly," I said triumphantly. "You've been bossing around your little minions in Chicago. I need to show you that your ass is mine -- literally -- at home."

His voice may have been saying "no, thank you," but his throbbing cock was saying "Do me now!"

I flipped him over and lubed up his ass and shoved my strap-on dildo into him before he could say anything. He moaned contentedly as I reached around to his cock to find it as hard as ever.

I got off, removed the strap-on, and got on all fours so he could take me doggie style. He grabbed my ass with both hands and slowly put his cock into me. It's his favorite position, so I acted as if I were doing him a favor. What I don't tell him is that it's my favorite position, too, because it makes it easy for me to reach down and stroke my clitoris as he's thrusting into my pussy.

We did a lot of that -- me stroking and him thrusting -- until I came multiple times and he shot his load of cum into me.

High Holy Days

Hey hi, all,

Wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten my readers here. It's the High Holy Days, and my mind will be on more spiritual matters. But after Sept. 28, I'll be posting here again.

Very truly yours,
Vickie P.

Watching a Video

I did get some up-close-and-personal time with the bf over the weekend. I can't say any more than that because he's a very private man who doesn't want me writing about our sex life. But just because I can't tell you about our sex life doesn't mean I can't tell you about my sex life.

The bf was working overtime on a server upgrade. I had time to myself and started to think that if I couldn't fuck my bf with a dildo, I might as well put it to good use in another way.

I got the dil out of my toy drawer and put on one of my favorite movies, "Babes Ballin' Boys."

The first scene is really cute. Sharon Kane asks her big, strong boyfriend if they can engage in some anal play. She's so coy about it. When her boyfriend consents, she's shy about even getting near his asshole, which takes some acting considering that Sharon has been in about 800 porn videos and has probably done or seen everything imaginable.

Eventually, though, she fingers, licks, and fucks his ass. Then he sits on her strap-on and rides it in a position which, if he was a woman, would be called reverse cowgirl.

As I watched this, I used the dildo on my pussy and my clit, but I only let myself come twice.

When Sharon's man has enough ass-fucking, he lies down and jacks off. Sharon helps him by licking his nipples and tickling his balls. I love to watch a man masturbate. They are so rough with their dicks -- rougher than I would ever dare to be.

I like the next scene of the movie, too. A skinny hippie boy goes to a prostitute and asks her to fuck his ass with a strap-on. It wasn't quite what I was in the mood for tonight, so I skipped it.

The next scene was the one I was most looking forward to. It starts out with a man using an unstrapped strap-on on his ass and jacking off. You know how I enjoyed that. Then a woman appears, with the dildo strapped on, and fucks the man in the ass.

Next, he takes the strap-on off of her and goes down on her. Nice as it is to be the active, penetrating party, it's also nice to lie back and enjoy a man's tongue on your pussy and clit.

Then -- and here's the best part -- the man picks up a double-headed dildo and inserts one end in the woman's pussy and the other in his own ass. As they are both fucking the other and being fucked, they masturbate, too. There's a man getting fucked in the ass and jacking off. I like that! There's a woman getting fucked in the pussy (as I was fucking myself with the dildo) and fingering her clit (as I was fingering my own clit). I like that, too! I had wave upon wave of orgasms.

After all of that, I was feeling relaxed and refreshed when my bf, the slave of the computers, finally got home.

Love,
Vickie

Where else to find me on the Interwebs

Delicious/vickiep

Vickie P. on Worldcat Posted: 19 May 2009 12:26 PM PDT My reading list(s)

Bisexual pornography - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Posted: 19 May 2009 12:25 PM PDT I'm proud to say that I started this article.

Vickie P.'s blog on MySpace Posted: 19 May 2009 12:22 PM PDT I don't post here as much as I used to. I'm more likely to post to http://heyhiall.blogspot.com/

Vickie P. - FriendFeed Posted: 19 May 2009 12:21 PM PDT Follow me and most of my writing here.

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About Vickie P. and Her Interests

Hey hi, all,

I am a straight woman with somewhat unusual interests — pegging and bisexual erotica.

Pegging is the practice of a woman using a strap-on dildo on a man’s ass. I enjoy doing this and experiencing it through erotic videos and books.

Bisexual erotica portrays — in words or pictures — heterosexual and homosexual acts. Since straight men have historically set the standards, homosexual acts they find arousing (i.e., lesbian scenes) are acceptable in straight porn. So, in practice, bisexual erotica mixes straight sex with gay male sex. The easiest way to do that is with a two-man, one-woman threesome. There are MMF threesomes (with homoerotic, man-on-man action) and MFM threesomes (no man-on-man action, but lots of attention paid to the woman). I’m interested in both kinds, although the second one isn’t really bisexual.

[Added May 5, 2009:]

I haven't had a whole lot of luck with the so-called "Web 2.0."

• On another blogging platform, after I used a four-letter word, my posts were banned from the tag pages, which had provided me with 90% of my visitors



• On a consumer recommendation site, I was banned for using a four-letter word for the male sex organ in a review of Playgirl.



• On a popular social networking site, my links are sometimes censored if the operators of the site think they go somewhere nasty.

I'm hoping Blogspot will let Vickie be Vickie.

[end additions]

In my experience, when a woman writes openly about sex on the Internet, she gets some, um, interesting propositions from men. Guys, I have all the lovers I need, so please don’t apply for the position.