I hate intercourse

Note: You should probably read this piece's sister essay, I hate foreplay, before reading this one.

I hate intercourse.

Don't get me wrong. I love screwing. I love having part of my man inside me -- his beautiful penis in my pussy. I love the way he moves, making me feel good, making himself feel good. I love to touch my clit as he fills me, making myself feel even better. I love when he explodes, leaving his juice in my pussy.

What I dislike is the assumption that all heterosexual activity will result in penis-vaginal intercourse. The idea that if you haven't had intercourse, you haven't had sex. (This dutiful doing-it-because-you're-supposed-to is what I call intercourse. When you're doing it because you want to, that I call screwing.)

So, I've let The Boyfriend know that when we get into bed:

• Screwing is not guaranteed.
• His orgasm is not guaranteed (but mine is).

The first rule ensures that we keep in mind that sex encompasses acts other than intercourse, and we only screw when we both really want to. Now, since The Boyfriend wants to screw every time we get in bed, that means, by necessity, that I have veto power.

The second rule comes about because of the facts of life:

1. Time for sexual activity is finite.
2. Most women don't have an orgasm from intercourse (or screwing) alone.

Sooner or later, we all have to get out of bed to go to work, care for family members, do chores, etc. So, in my limited time for sex, I can:

1. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then screw The Boyfriend (or give him a blowjob or a handjob), so he gets to come, or
2. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then deny The Boyfriend an orgasm and have y more orgasms in that time myself.

Now, most of the time, I'm a considerate and caring lover and go for option A. But sometimes, I get greedy and go for option B. I get to masturbate, receive cunnilingus, screw him if I want, have as many orgasms as I want, but he doesn't get to come if I don't let him. I have to admit it's a turn-on when I have been satisfied with multiple orgasms and I see his erect penis twitching and aching to come.

If I deny him an orgasm, he's on his honor not to give himself one for at least 24 hours thereafter. If I catch him breaking this rule, I may have to apply a male chastity device to his penis

I don't believe in retributive justice for a whole gender, but I would point out that, for centuries, when a man and woman got in bed, the man was assured of having an orgasm, but the woman wasn't. In our relationship, anyway, that paradigm is reversed.

You may call me a femdom (or worse). You may call what we do a female-led relationship, or orgasm control, or orgasm denial, but it works for us.

Here's an illustration (click on it to see full size). The first graph is the usual paradigm. The second is what I'm advocating.

I hate foreplay

I hate "foreplay."

Don't get me wrong: I love the acts usually comprehended by that term. When I'm in bed with The Boyfriend, I am not overly hasty to get to the screwing part of the program.

I hate the word "foreplay." I hate the implication that all of those delicious acts are just a prelude to — and inferior to — intercourse, that "sex" means intercourse and everything else is not sex.

Here is my definition of "sex":

The entire gamut of intimate and loving human contact. It can involve genitalia, anuses, mouths, hands, and other organs. It is not limited to intercourse.

Some things to note about this:

• It has to be "intimate and loving." A gynecological exam is not sex. Rape is not sex.
• The genitalia or anus involved could be your own. Masturbation is sex.

All of the following are sex:

• A hand on a breast
• A hand on male genitalia
• A finger (or hand) in an anus
• A hand on or in female genitalia
• A mouth on a breast
• A mouth on male genitalia
• A mouth on an anus
• A mouth on or in female genitalia
• A sextoy on a breast
• A sextoy on male genitalia
• A sextoy on or in an anus
• A sextoy on or in female genitalia
• A breast on a breast
• A breast on female genitalia
• A breast on male genitalia
• Female genitalia on female genitalia
• Male genitalia on male genitalia
• Male genitalia on female genitalia
• A penis on or in an anus
• A penis on or in a vagina

Notes:

• Male genitalia includes penis, balls — the whole package.
• Female genitalia includes vagina, vulva, labia, clitoris — the whole package.

A change in The Boyfriend?

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Vickie's Vocabulary: Do him / do her

From time to time, I will add new terms to Vickie's Vocabulary.

Do him / Do her, to

To screw someone. Often expressed as a desire to get into someone's pants. Example: As Sarah and Vickie eyed the studly young construction worker, Vickie said, "I'd do him."

Work on your techniques, people!

You may have heard about a big new study on Americans' sex lives called the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior.

Some of the news reports sniggered over the discrepancy between the percentage men who think their last partner had an orgasam (85%) and the percentage of women who actually did (64%).

What I found much more interesting, however, was this nugget: the survey listed five "techniques" one might use:

• penile-vaginal intercourse


• solo masturbation


• partnered masturbation


• oral sex


• anal sex

Not surprisingly:

Women reported they were much more likely to have an orgasm if their partners used more than one technique; 54 percent of women reported having an orgasm the last time they had sex when they engaged only in one act, but 89 percent of women who performed five sex acts during their last encounter had an orgasm.

Men get off from almost anything, of course (ha!). You can still use multiple techniques on your guy. As readers of this blog know, even anal sex can be practiced by a woman on a man.

ShazamSF's big day

ShazamSF makes April 15 a "Day of Fuck" with four different cocks in 24 hours:

• Cock no. 1


• Cock no. 2


• Cock no. 3


• Cock no. 4


• Day of Fuck (Epilogue)
  

The Big Switch 3: Bachelor Party

I picked up The Big Switch 3: Bachelor Party (1991!) for the MMF threesomes, but I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy the hottest twosome I've seen on video in some time. The "plot" is that the whole video takes place the night before a couple are to get married.

Bride-to-be Tracy Winn is sitting at home getting more and more jealous of her fiance who she imagines at his bachelor party with "strippers and hookers and his scumbucket friends who will fuck anything that moves." (She's right, of course.) As she angrily flips through a magazine, she runs across an ad for male entertainers. She calls and orders a muscular long-haired guy. She changes into a body stocking and awaits her man.

Steve Ryder (a.k.a. Danny Celaya) struts in, and he is DROP. DEAD. GORGEOUS. He asks if she wants "the basic or the extra." Tracy chooses "the extra," naturally. He puts his tape recorder on the bed and starts dancing around and stripping down to a thong. Tracy is alternately embarrassed and turned on. As he starts to pull his penis out of his thong, Steve tells Tracy, "This is the extra." She takes hold of it, kisses him, and soon begins going down on him. And there's plenty of "extra" to go down on!

After a bit of ice play, Tracy climbs on top and Steve fingers her crotch. They turn over, and Steve goes down on her. She really seems to come at this point.

They change places once again, and Tracy rides Steve's "extra." When Steve rolls her over and gets on top, we get a good look at his muscular ass plunging against her body. Tracy has an extra good time here as well.

Two advisories: Tracy never takes off her body stocking, so you don't get a good look at her breasts. This may be a problem for some people. However, you do get a good look at her full, natural pubic hair. This may be a problem for some people; not for me, however.

How to BOB, MMF threesomes, and a video

Delicious/vickiep

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• Hot couple (video)
• How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend (anal penetration) - Babeland
• Curious Business - Savage Love - Columns - Savage Love - Dan Savage - The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper

Hot couple (video) Posted: 27 Jan 2010 08:04 PM PST Sometimes you have to go back to basics -- a man with a big c*ck and a zaftig blonde woman with natural boobs and pussy. Add plenty of oral and f*cking, then serve hot!

How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend (anal penetration) - Babeland Posted: 27 Jan 2010 05:51 PM PST H/T bendoverboyfrriend.tumblr.com

Curious Business - Savage Love - Columns - Savage Love - Dan Savage - The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper Posted: 27 Jan 2010 06:48 AM PST This week's column is all about folks who want to have mmf threesomes

Video link

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Sexual freedom, big c*cks, rim jobs

Delicious/vickiep

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In Rhode Island, battle over legal prostitution rages on - The Boston Globe Posted: 15 Aug 2009 11:43 PM PDT Indoor prostitution is legal in R.I.

Gay marriage fight, `kiss-ins' smack Mormon image - Yahoo! News Posted: 15 Aug 2009 11:24 PM PDT

I’m a Size Queen (Of Course) » Random Rim Jobs Posted: 15 Aug 2009 10:55 PM PDT Shazamsf writes about screwing "big boys," then this: "Rim jobs. I like converting straight guys to the glories of rim jobs. Mr. RI learned, thanks to me, that he really, really, quite a lot digs his asshole licked. I love a straight guy who isn't too uptight about his ass. Ass licking feels damn good. The zoned out look on a guy's face when he's getting his ass treated properly is truly beautiful."

Intercourse in variety of styles

Delicious/vickiep

Living Somewhat Dangerously: In Which The New Year Suddenly Doesn't Look So Bad Posted: 02 May 2009 08:57 PM PDT Great account of pegging an (ex-)boyfriend

Orgasm Positions - The Best Sex Positions for Having an Orgasm - Cosmopolitan.com Posted: 02 May 2009 08:30 PM PDT Seven positions that make orgasm more likely for the woman. Via Svetlana of Sex Secrets