Frot

In honor's of today's Super Bowl, which features men butting heads, I give you this post about men butting heads. Enjoy.

As a straight woman, I may never understand all the mysteries of gay male sexuality. But, thanks to the Interwebs, I learn things. Turns out there's a dispute about some of the most basic aspects of male sexuality.

One paradigm of male sexuality is that, at his most primal level, a man wants to penetrate the body of his lover through a suitable orifice. (Sorry for the clinical language, but I'm trying to keep this orientation-neutral.) This -- the thinking goes -- is what all men want; this is the most intimate act they can imagine. This explains why a heterosexual man wants to have intercourse with his female lover by inserting his penis into her vagina. And, if the theory is true, a homosexual man wants to have intercourse with his male lover by inserting his penis into the other man's anus.

But what if that paradigm is not the whole story? What if it's actually false?

Another paradigm goes like this: man wants to rub his genitals against those of his lover. In that case, the heterosexual man would still want to have vaginal intercourse with his female lover. But what about the homosexual man? Under this paradigm, he would want to rub his penis against the penis of his lover. And what about anal intercourse? Well, the anus isn't part of the genitalia, of course, so if you're doing that, it could only be in "pale imitation" of heterosexual intercourse, according to this theory.

Does anybody really do this? It's called frottage or frot. Apparently, it's practiced by a minority of gay men.

Does anybody really advocate that gay men practice frottage to the exclusion of anal intercourse? At least one person does: Bill Weintraub, who has the web site Heroic Homo Sex. There you will find many essays advocating frottage for gay men and pictures depicting the act. (He even says that since intercourse results in a "top" and a "bottom," it produces an inherently unequal relationship. I think millions of women who consider themselves feminists and also have intercourse with men would beg to differ with that conclusion.)

Aren't there enough people out there telling gay men what to do (and not do) in the bedroom? Do they really need it from one of their own?

However, if I were to express my own preference -- from a purely selfish point of view -- I would prefer they engage in anal intercourse, rather than frottage, simply because the former affords more scope for a woman to get involved. If two guys are screwing and a woman is invited to join in, she can:

1. Give the bottom guy a handjob


2. Suck the bottom guy's cock


3. Get her pussy licked by either guy


4. Have 69 with the bottom guy


5. Screw the bottom guy


6. Screw the top guy with a strap-on

If you're interested in seeing what frottage is all about, you can watch a 47-minute video with many frottage scenes.

Note 1: This post fulfills my promise to write about penises being rubbed together.

Note 2: Frottage is a consensual act between adults. It is not to be confused with what frotteurs do: non-consensual rubbing, often in public places (for example, a man rubbing himself against women in a crowded subway). That is not cool and often illegal.

Strap Attack 11 (featuring Charisma Cappelli)

I watched "Strap Attack 11" recently. My favorite scene, which features Charisma Cappelli, has a nice twist on the typical dildo-sucking sequence found in so much strap-on porn.

The scene opens with an unseen male Interviewer questioning Charisma outside her house. The dialog goes something like this (slightly edited):

Interviewer: You expect a lot from your man, huh?

Charisma: Oh, abso-fucking-lutely ... oh, you know, daily chores, laundry, dishes.

Interviewer: You don't do that shit?

Charisma: Fuck no! Why do you have a man for? You have to make him please you -- cook dinner, bathe me, wash me.

Interviewer: Why?

Charisma: Because he's my little bitch.

Interviewer: When are you nice to him?

Charisma: In bed.

Interviewer:You're a strong girl, huh?

Charisma: Yeah, I can kick his ass. If he doesn't do what I asked to get done, he gets punished.

Turns out her man (a big muscular bald guy) laundered the towels and cleaned the kitchen, but didn't make dinner. She orders him to make dinner, he refuses, and there's a little physical stuff (from both parties) I could have lived without.

"I know how you can make it up to me," she says, "by letting me fuck you for a change."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, you don't or you're out."

After the cut, he's naked with an erection, while she's wearing a black and pink outfit with short skirt (CFNM, anyone?). They do 69, then she sits on his face and practically smothers him. When he objects, she says, "Don't stop!"

She remembers that she wants to fuck him and is soon wearing nothing but a corset, leather boots, and strap-on dildo. She has him suck it. She lies down and starts using a vibrator on herself. I don't know about you, but for me, this gave the dildo-sucking a completely different feel. It's as if his sucking is directly stimulating her real genitals. She comes multiple times, most times holding his head on her "cock" until she does so.

She rims and fingers his ass. She sucks and strokes his cock as she continues to finger his ass. "You like being my little bitch, huh?" (If this is femdom, many men would sign up in a minute!)

She slides her dildo in his ass and begins to screw him. She lies behind him and screws him some more, quite deeply too. Then she takes his ass doggy style.

She sucks his cock and then rides him reverse cowgirl. They screw so hard, the dildo falls out of the harness.

He talks about coming. "I'm going to make you fucking come," she says and pegs him until he does just that.

Find it wherever fine porn is sold, rented, and streamed.

The Pegged Boyfriend

The Gap has jeans that it calls "The New Pegged Boyfriend." I can introduce them to some old pegged boyfriends if they're interested. As various bloggers have pointed out, apparently the brain trust at the Gap has never used the Internet before (and they've certainly never browsed this blog).

(From Consumerist and Dan Savage at the Portland Mercury via Violet Blue's Tiny Nibbles)

Masturbation Instruction

I've discovered a new genre of video (new to me, anyway). It's called masturbation instruction (substitute the slang term of your choice). I can't imagine many men on the Internet need instructions in how to masturbate, but that's not really what these are about anyway. They're more like masturbation commands.

I've only seen a few of these, so I'm not sure how much I can generalize, but I'll try. Basically, a woman, fully or mostly clothed, comes onscreen and tells the (male) viewer how he should be masturbating -- how fast, what strokes, and most importantly, when he is allowed to (and must) come for her. I guess they're a kind of femdom* and also a species of the subgenre CFNM, since the woman may be clothed, but the man watching her: not so much.

Tip of, er, something to Married Sub, who alerted me to these videos. See his favorite masturbation instruction video.

(*) When I go looking for pegging material, I often come across femdom stuff, since people often associate the two, even though pegging doesn't have to include female dominance. But, then, some people like it and that's cool, too.

Update: Married Sub's comment below and recent post reminded me of yet another related genre: orgasm denial.

Prostate massage and handjob

Delicious/vickiep

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Prostate massage and handjob Posted: 28 Jan 2011 05:00 PM PST Video: First time anal play for him!

Sucking the dildo

I have to say most dildo-sucking sequences in strap-on videos leave me feeling meh. I don't get the attraction. (I don't make The Boyfriend do it during our strap-on sessions in RL either.) It can't be a physical pleasure. For the woman, the dildo is not part of her body, so she's not feeling anything. (Of course, there are videos of women with penises if you're into that sort of thing.) For the man, he's just getting a mouthful of whatever material they use to make the dildo.

I think I understand it, though. It's a psychological thing -- an act of female dominance (femdom) -- to "force" the man to suck her "cock." The implications of this trouble me. It implies that the beautiful act of fellatio -- an act regularly performed by straight women and gay men on their lovers -- is somehow demeaning, or at least beneath the dignity of a straight man. That being said, if you like to incorporate roleplaying into your strap-on activities, so the woman pretends to force the man to suck her dildo and the man pretends to feel demeaned by it all, yet all concerned are actually turned on by the proceedings, I have no problem with that.

For some other views, see the discussion How many into sucking the dildo? in the Tribe.net group Pegging is for Everyone.

Promises, promises

I love the pictures NewRyder posts everyday on his Strapon Log, but today's picture really takes the cake. It's titled "Promises, promises, promises." Make no mistake, it's plenty NSFW, but with a hint of even more, as its title suggests. Just go look at it.